


Cocoa Kiss

by tothineownelfbetrue



Series: Spun Sugar Sweet [4]
Category: Disenchantment (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Amicable Exes, Both Kinds, Candy, Established Relationship, F/M, Kissing, Misunderstandings, No Seriously It Is, POV Third Person, Post-Canon, basically valentine's day, elf spit is the secret ingredient in elf candy, foreign culture, lots more kisses, no beta we die like elves, not understanding Elf Customs, weird ingredients in food
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:02:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29713437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tothineownelfbetrue/pseuds/tothineownelfbetrue
Summary: Of all the things Bean has had to reassure Elfo about over the course of their relationship, being asked to judge the taste of his spit is definitely among the weirdest.Okay, maybe not the weirdest. But it's at least in the top ten.or: That weird fic where Bean gets sucked into another bizarre elf tradition.
Relationships: Bean | Tiabeanie/Elfo (Disenchantment), Elfo/Kissy (Disenchantment)
Series: Spun Sugar Sweet [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1685695
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	Cocoa Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Another fic that was supposed to be a really short thing for Valentine's Day and blew up into this 10k monstrosity. I hope you enjoy!

-  
  


"Hey Bean." The sound of an only semi-familiar voice caught the princess off-guard and she looked up from the scribbling she was doing in her journal. Most people didn't come to look for her at the coffeehouse, even though it was where she spent more of her time these days. She still was at the bar a fair amount but given how much she'd cut back on drinking - mostly because she just hadn't been feeling the need to, as much - the coffeehouse was more in-line with the atmosphere she was looking for, especially when she was in a thoughtful mood. She hadn't been expecting anyone else to show up looking for her.... it wasn't time for readings. As she raised her head from her page, she didn't see anyone at eye-level. It wasn't until she looked down again that she realized who was talking.

It was as much of a surprise as the fact that someone had come to this place to find her had been. More, even. She knew _of_ Kissy, but the two of them had never spoken before other than maybe a quick hello when Kissy had been dating Luci. That had been a little weird too, because it had been the first time she'd realized that Elfo had ever dated someone. Considering the whole thing with Tess, she'd pretty much come to the conclusion that Elfo's love life had been nonexistent, so imagine her surprise to find that not only had Elfo had a serious girlfriend, that she was also a princess. And for some reason, Elfo hadn't thought to mention his real ex-girlfriend, instead of making up a fake giant girlfriend on the spot.

That aside, it did nothing to explain what Kissy was doing here, trying to talk with her. "Hey." Her voice was noncommittal, a little distracted by all the thoughts going through her head. She knew Kissy and Elfo had broken up, that it had been because of his decision to leave Elfwood and explore the outside world. There hadn't been any indication he was interested in getting back together with her at any point, especially not after she'd broken up with Luci too. So why was she talking to Bean?

For a moment, the wild thought crossed Bean's mind that maybe Kissy was trying to round out the set by asking out - and then subsequently dumping - Bean, and if it wasn't for the fact that it made absolutely no sense, it might have been something she'd had to seriously think about.

_But no, she wouldn't have gone out with Elfo's ex, no matter how cute she was. She couldn't do that to Elfo. She wasn't Luci, after all._

"You're Bean, right? Elfo mentioned you to me before." Kissy smiled, less awkward about the situation than Bean was. Maybe she ran into a lot of significant others for her exes. By all accounts, she'd had quite a few partners, something that Bean could almost envy, especially when Kissy had a similar problem of her dad trying to murder guys who hooked up with her. _Elfo had mentioned that too, the whole hanging thing._ "Luci brought you up too," Kissy added, unhelpfully.

She knew that Elfo was on good terms with his ex, though she hadn't known that they still spoke much. The idea of being on friendly terms with someone you'd been with and split from had been weirder before Bean had seen how well it worked for her dad and Oona. Some people were just better as exes. Maybe Elfo and Kissy were that way. "Yeah. That's me." There really wasn't anyone else someone could mistake for her, was there? With the white hair and the buck teeth, that was. She figured Kissy was just asking to be polite and not launch right into whatever she really wanted to talk about.

"Oh good." Kissy paused a moment, considering her words, and Bean felt herself tensing for some reason she couldn't put her finger on. "Elfo's told me about the two of you-" it was only a mild surprise considering Bean had known that he'd also talked to Kissy about Luci, but she couldn't help but wonder what he'd said about her. She'd have to ask him later. Either way, Kissy was undeterred by whether or not there was something uncomfortable about talking about someone when they weren't around, "I know the two of you are seeing each other now. I'm happy for the both of you."

The reaction of most people to the fact that Bean had an elf boyfriend - okay, half-elf, but still - was to either try and figure out just how that worked - in terms of sex, usually... another matter that the two of them hadn't gotten around to addressing yet... - or else they were just repulsed at the idea of a human dating a non-human in general. People were a lot more bold about criticizing Bean then they ever had been with her dad, despite the fact that he'd dated several non-human women and Bean had only dated one elf - and kissed a few other... less human types, but that was beside the point. No one was going around and congratulating her on it or saying they were happy for her. For a minute she didn't have any clue how to react to someone who wasn't being a jerk about it.

Ridiculous. This was what they'd worked for, wasn't it? To make Dreamland more accepting of differences? if anything, this just meant they'd made progress. "Thank you." She kept her voice steady over the words, even though she was still trying to reconcile everything.

And just when she thought she'd figured it out, that this was just the way that people should behave when someone was finally in a happy relationship with one of their closest friends in the whole world, Kissy threw her for another loop. "I just wanted to get your permission, since the two of you are going out." Bean froze, the lead-in to that was so weird. Her permission? Why would Kissy ever need her permission for something?

Okay, so she was royalty and technically had some power, especially now, with the restructuring of Dreamland. Kissy wouldn't have been the first person to ask her for some kind of favour, but the timing of it made even less sense after the small talk about Bean and Elfo. Most people were either really blunt or spent a lot more energy on kissing her ass to try and butter her up. "My permission?"

"To give Elfo a kiss."

She blinked a couple of times, the words refusing to fully sink in. Kissy wanted to get her permission? To _kiss_ Elfo? There were too many questions it brought up. Things like Why did she want to kiss Elfo? Why was she asking Bean's permission? That seemed like a strange thing to ask someone's girlfriend when you were wanting to kiss them. It all felt like this was coming out of nowhere.

While Bean's brain was struggling to process, Kissy was looking at her expectantly. It occurred to her that she'd been standing there for at least a couple of minutes with no answer. Her brain and mouth didn't seem to want to connect to let her ask the things she sorely needed to know. 

_There was no way Kissy was wanting to get back together with Elfo, even if he wasn't already taken, she'd made her point clear enough from what Elfo had said to her. He had no reason to lie about his ex's explanation for breaking up with him and Bean trusted that he wouldn't have. But that didn't help answer the real questions either._

"I..." Words. Right. Those were things she needed. "I guess?"

No, those weren't the words she needed at all!

Despite the fact that Bean was desperately wishing she could drag the words back, snatch them right out of the air and stuff them right back into her mouth where they belonged, that just wasn't possible. Besides, Kissy was much faster on the draw than she was, already beaming, clasping her hands together in a way that Bean would have found kind of charming if it weren't for everything else going on right now. "Thank you, Bean." She said graciously, while Bean was caught up in various stages of frustration with herself and frustration with her inability to say something coherent when caught off-guard like this. She wasn't nearly drunk enough to improvise well. The elf woman had no clue about that, just continuing blithely, "I know it's a silly elf tradition, but Elfo is still important to me and I didn't want to leave him out."

That just brought up more questions. But unfortunately for Bean, Kissy seemed satisfied at what was a largely noncommittal answer on Bean's part. She bobbed her head. voice still cheery, "Well, I have several more people to ask, but thank you, Bean. Knowing that the two of you are together now really does make me happy. I wasn't really ever sure how you felt about him... even though it was pretty obvious how he felt about you. I'm glad it was mutual though! That's so important for relationships.

While Bean was still distracted, trying to get caught up with the train of thought that was constantly trying to derail, Kissy managed to slip away, presumably to track down all these other people she was apparently going to ask about kissing the significant others of. Her window of opportunity for clarification - or to just say 'no, please don't kiss my boyfriend' - had already closed.

-

It took a while, but Bean was finally able to coax her limbs into moving and she headed back toward the castle. Without any real intention of doing so, she wound up taking the long way around, through the winding back alleys of Dreamland. She was too lost in thought to pay attention, but at least the walk did a fair bit to clear her head, which was a good thing. It allowed her to put things into perspective a little more before she had to talk to her boyfriend.

Bean wasn't the jealous type. When it came to anything besides her brother stealing their father's attention and the respect of the kingdom, she was pretty good at rolling with things. It wasn't like she hadn't kissed - and done more - with a lot of guys over the years. 

She was fully aware that Elfo and Kissy had dated at one point and they'd had their very brief argument about the fact that he hadn't told her about it instead of lying to her about Tess, but it didn't bother her. Knowing that Kissy was also Luci's ex added another weird wrinkle to things that Bean wasn't sure she ever wanted to think about, but at least it didn't really concern her at the moment.

Yet despite knowing about their previous relationship - Elfo and Kissy's, that was - and not caring about who her boyfriend had been with in the past, Bean was still a bit taken aback by the request. That was normal though, wasn't it? To be a little confused when someone else was asking to kiss your boyfriend? Bean didn't have a lot of experience with actual dating, but she was still pretty sure that was the case. Either way, she wasn't an expert and for all she knew elves had some kind of weird traditions about exes that involved kissing.

Given everything else the two of them had been through together, Bean was going to give this the benefit of the doubt and instead of relying on her own faulty knowledge, she went to talk to Elfo.

"Wait... Kissy wants what?" Elfo was in the middle of organizing the shelves of books. Bean had made the mistake of giving him his own office to work in and he'd spent the last couple of weeks meticulously arranging everything just the way he wanted it. The one time Bean had tried to help by arranging a vase, Elfo had given it an uncomfortably long stare before shifting it three inches over. Bean had opted out of helping him with his organization after that, which was probably for the best. It would have driven both of them crazy. 

"She wants to give you a kiss tomorrow. She came and asked me if that was okay with me."

"Tomorrow..." Elfo mumbled, seemingly fixated on the wrong detail from her statement. He was a lot less concerned about the kissing thing than she would have expected, especially considering he was usually the one more focused on the romantic aspects of relationships. To him, kissing was a Big Deal. He was being pretty cavalier about it. "But why would she-" He cut himself off, mid-sentence then scrambled across the room to fumble through a stack of books and papers. 

It took a few seconds of shifting things around and tossing papers that Bean knew he was going to be upset about later when they were creased. She gathered a few of them, just to set them aside neatly before Elfo emerged with a strange little book. It opened up and down, instead of side to side and inside were a lot of squares with big numbers. Unlike most of Elfo's books - other than those related to accounting - this had distinctive pen scratches and notes in it. "It is! Kiss Day! I forgot it was coming up!"

Kiss Day? So this _was_ another one of those weird elf traditions. 

"So she wants to give you a kiss because of some elf holiday?" Bean asked, trying to get clarification. There was only one thing surprising about that. "But... don't you think it's a little weird that your ex-girlfriend wants to give you a kiss? You're not together now."

Elfo paused at that, nose wrinkling a little, thoughtfully. "I guess so? But I also used to get a kiss from my boss every year too, until they told him it wasn't mandatory anymore."

Bean had met Superviso, who had to be the boss Elfo was referring to. The mental image that statement provided made her freeze in place for a few seconds as her brain broke a little. "...what?" She barely managed to sputter out. It wasn't that she had anything against Elfo kissing guys - honestly, sometimes she thought she might not have minded seeing it happen, if Elfo weren't so shy - but thinking of him snogging with his former elf foreman was definitely not something she'd been mentally prepared for.

"I.... wait..." she waved a hand in the air, trying to stop him from saying anything else that was going to confuse her even more. "You kissed your boss?"

From Elfo's expression, he was now almost as confused by this conversation as she was. Bean wasn't sure what exactly she'd said wrong, but Elfo was looking at her as though she was the one talking nonsense. "I... what?" He frowned. "What about kissing?"

This felt like something had gone wrong in their communication at some point and Bean wasn't entirely sure what it had been. "We were talking about kissing. Just now."

There was another long stare and then, finally, Elfo's expression changed, some realization flashing in his eyes. He gave himself a little shake, raising his hands "No, no! Not kissing! Kisses!" He said it as though there was some difference between the two. The two of them locked gazes for a moment and Bean's expression must have been just as uncomprehending as before because Elfo sputtered for a moment. He finally paused, rubbing at his eyes for a second. Then he pressed his palms together in what Bean recognized as a sign that he was about to go into a lecture.

Elfo could be a bit annoying when he got too much into lecture mode, but considering she wasn't sure she was going to be able to figure out what the heck he was referencing without a little bit of help. 

"So, with elves, there's not just the kind of kisses like humans have," Elfo said, fiddling through his papers to find a blank page and scribbling on it. After a few seconds of sketching, he held it up to show what seemed to be some kind of weird triangular shape. "They're made of chocolate. We call them Cocoa Kisses. And they're a special treat for Kiss Day." Okay. That made a lot more sense, even if she wasn't sure why they would name them 'kisses' when it was bound to lead to some confusion. Elfo continued, oblivious to her thoughts, "On Kiss Day, elves give each other these kisses. It's usually for friends, loved ones, family members, that kind of thing. It's to show how much you care about them."

With the context it made a lot of sense. Even if it still was a bit confusing on the naming or origins of the tradition. "So Kissy wants to give you candy?" She was a lot less worried about that idea than she would have been if Kissy had actually intended to give Elfo real kisses. Fortunately she'd been too confused by the question to actually refuse at the time. She knew Elfo liked candy and she didn't begrudge him getting some of it during an elf holiday.

"Yeah, that's right!" Now that Elfo had cleared up the matter, Bean expected he'd be a little more enthused about it. Instead, he fell quiet for a minute or two, biting his lip in a way that Bean recognized. She'd seen that look on his face before. Reaching out her hand, she rested it on Elfo's shoulder, giving him a gentle shake to get his attention.

"Hey. It's okay. I'm not upset or anything. It's fine if you want to exchange candy with Kissy." Besides, she already knew that he still talked to the elf woman. The two of them were on pretty friendly terms. Bean would have liked to be on better terms with most of her ex-hookups, but that was kind of hard when a lot of them had wound up dead. Your dad chopping off the heads of some of your past lovers was bound to create issues with being on speaking terms after the hookups. They mostly just wanted it kept as quiet as possible and skirted away from getting anywhere near her.

Her words didn't reassure Elfo. He just looked at her with that half-smile he gave when he was trying to put up a brave face for her. He rubbed at his arm a little and she gave him another gentle shake. They'd been getting better about being honest with each other, but they still ran into issues here and there. 

"What's the matter, Elfo?" She said.

He let out a soft sigh. "It's not that I'm worried about you getting mad, Bean. I know you understand stuff like this. It's actually..." He rubbed at the side of his neck. "I didn't expect Kissy to even consider giving me a kiss for Kiss Day. No one ever really gives me kisses." Perhaps he caught the shift in Bean's expression because he hastened to correct himself, "I mean you give me actual kisses and not candy kisses! I love when we kiss!" He cleared his throat, continuing awkwardly. "I just meant that I didn't make anything for Kiss Day because I never get anything. If Kissy gives me a kiss and I don't give her one, am I a bad person?"

"You're not a bad person," Bean smiled. This, at least, was something she was sure of. It had taken the both of them a lot of time to work out the whole 'good' and 'bad' thing. They were both harder on themselves than they probably should have been. A little self-forgiveness could go a long way. Bean could understand that worry though, she'd suffered with it a lot on the hard journey into adulthood. Hell, truth be told there were still times she wondered how she'd wound up with all the good things in her life, still wondered if they were deserved. Elfo was usually there to remind her of the exact same things she was telling him right now. "Can't you still get her one? When is Kiss Day?" She reached out, catching hold of the weird book that Elfo had been consulting and looking at it as though the strange assortment of symbols and writing meant anything to her.

Elfo watched her for a few seconds, then reached out to take the book from her, turning it over. The symbols didn't mean too much more like this, but at least now she could see the elaborate heart-shape decorating one of the large, un-crossed-off squares. "It's there. It's the day after tomorrow."

"That seems like plenty of time to buy candy." Bean reasoned. She was more than happy to go with Elfo and buy candy if it would make him feel better. Plus, she could make sure to pick up a bit of extra for herself. "We can just head down to Elf Alley right now." She cut off the rest of what she'd been about to say when she caught sight of Elfo's expression. She had something wrong here, clearly.

"You can't _buy_ Kiss Day candy, Bean," Elfo said, when he was through acting like he'd just heard something offensive. But how was she supposed to have known that? It wasn't a strange human holiday they were talking about here. Perhaps a bit of her lack of amusement at his assumption was showing on her face because instead of pushing the point like he sometimes did - a habit he was thankfully starting to get past, but one that still popped up from time to time - he backpedalled quickly. "It's... um. I appreciate the suggestion but that's not what Kiss Day is about. It's kind of a special holiday. You have to do it a certain way."

Bean shuffled, easing to a sitting position, legs crossed loosely. "Look. Why don't you tell me a little more about it and then we'll see what we can do. I want to help, man, but I can't if I'm going to be guessing about all these things you already know." One of the things Bean had learned from all the adventures she'd gone on was that there was a time to just talk about stuff and get it out in the open. Guessing games were terrible for getting things done and even worse for relationships. The two of them had definitely had their fair share - more than their fair share, really - of issues cropping up just from not wanting to actually talk about things that were embarrassing or uncomfortable. It was something they were both getting better at.

Elfo bit his lip and Bean had known him long enough that she could read that look. There was so much said simply in the shift of his shoulders and the way he darted his gaze away. But he also cleared his throat and bobbed his head and the words came out more easily than she expected given his clear reticence. "So, Kiss Day..." he rubbed at the back of his neck. "It's an elf holiday to celebrate when we found our calling as candymakers. So to celebrate, elves all give each other handmade chocolates." There was something faintly apologetic to his gaze. "It was a good suggestion to buy some, but you're supposed to make the cocoa kisses yourself."

It sounded pretty arbitrary to Bean though. All of the elf candies were handmade as far as she could tell, so other than the sentimental value of having someone make you something, she really didn't see what the big deal was. Either way, someone had made it. Perhaps something of her dubiousness was showing on her face because Elfo seemed to catch on to her thought process quickly enough. 

"It's because they have to be unique from the elf who made them! And the only way to do that is to spit in them yourself. It's rude to have someone else do it!"

"Well, I don't see why that's so-" her brain ground to a halt for a moment as the words Elfo had said finally caught up with her. "Wait... did you say spit in them?" All of a sudden the silly but fairly harmless little holiday Elfo had been describing took a turn for the weird and she just wanted to make sure that she'd actually heard it and wasn't experiencing some kind of drug induced hallucination where Elfo was talking about spitting in candy.

Elfo was completely oblivious to the part of his explanation that had bothered Bean. He tilted his head as he looked up at her, expression guileless, "Well, yes." He said it as though it was a normal thing to say and it occurred to Bean that she'd never really been present through most of the cooking process in Dreamland castle and maybe spitting really was some kind of common cooking technique but somehow she just really didn't think so. The thought of it made her gag a little, really. He'd answered exactly what she'd asked, but it didn't actually answer the real questions she was facing here.

She would have to be more specific, clearly. Even now, Elfo did still tend to take things a little more literally unless they were explained to him. "I mean, why are these spit-candies such a big deal. I'm going to be honest... that sounds a little strange."

He gave a slight wave of his hand in reply, "Yeah. I know. It doesn't get nearly as much flavour if you don't have several elves doing the spitting."

Bean knew she should have been expecting the way Elfo was completely missing the point of her statement, but she groaned anyway. And Elfo's attempts to clarify things only made it worse somehow. He seemed way too into the point about spitting without realizing why the spitting was gross. Granted, Bean wasn't exactly the least gross person in the world - she wasn't sure anyone from Dreamland could ever be completely un-gross but spitting in food belonging to someone you didn't hate was a bit much even for her. "No, I mean the spitting into the candy. That's strange. Normal people don't spit into their candy."

She recognized the look that flitted across his face before he said anything, it was that old condescending look he'd get sometimes when he was talking about the things she didn't know. There'd been times in the past when she'd seen that expression and been thoroughly tempted to smack him. "Bean-" he said and she cleared her throat in warning. Fortunately for the both of them, he was a lot quicker to pick up on it now than he had been back in the early days of their friendship. He shifted his tone a bit, enough that he didn't sound like a know-it-all. "That's how all elf candies are made." He said at last. 

It made a lot of things kind of worse in hindsight. Like the times she'd gone out to a fancy dinner in Elf Alley and been served 'rabbit'. Or the times when they'd gotten elf candies delivered to the court as a kind of bribe. Sure, the taste had been good, but she definitely wouldn't have eaten them if she'd known they were made with spit. "I... that's just gross, Elfo. No one wants to eat spit." 

"Elf candies are very popular though. And from what I know from Pops, most people actually know they have elf spit. It's the best part!" He paused and Bean could tell he was trying to find a better approach. "I mean..." his eyes darted around the room for a moment, as though he was looking for some inspiration, then he snapped his gaze back to her. "It's like honey!"

"What?" This seeming non sequitur threw Bean off for a second and she stared at Elfo. "What about honey?"

"It's made of bee spit!" Elfo pointed out, triumphantly. "So spit isn't always bad or anything! It can be really tasty and used in food!" Well, Bean had to admit, she'd only been a little aware of the fact that honey had bee spit in it. Even that had mostly been because one of her unsuccessful stints at a job in Dreamland was an apprenticeship to a beekeeper which had ended with both her and the beekeeper chased halfway across the countryside before finally jumping to refuge in a muddy cow pond. And even knowing that hadn't ever stopped her from having honey with her jam in the mornings, so she couldn't argue Elfo's point. Maybe elf spit wasn't as weird of a concept as she thought.

The main issue she still had trouble wrapping her head around was the fact that she knew several of the elves. It was one thing to eat honey with the spit from an unknown bee - or several unknown bees - in it. It was different when it was some elf who sat across from you at the bar every evening chugging cheap beer. A brief shudder still ran through Bean at the thought that Weirdo's spit might be in the candy they'd eaten. Elfo must have sensed what she was about to ask because he rested his hand atop hers in reassurance. "Weirdo isn't allowed to spit in the candy, Bean. Not even the rest of us elves would want any of that!" That helped, it really did. She supposed that she could deal with a little elf spit in her candy and not freak out about it. When it came right down to it, she'd probably eaten a lot of stranger things before, she just hadn't known about them.

"I guess it makes sense." She said finally. Reluctantly.

But that just brought her back to the first concept she hadn't been able to wrap her head around. "So what you're saying is that you have to make a bunch of these 'kiss' candies yourself so you can spit in them?" She said slowly and watched Elfo's face light up in delight at the fact that she'd finally put it together.

"Right!"

As weird as it sounded - and if she really thought about it, the use of the term 'kiss' for these chocolate spit candies was now somehow fitting - at least she kinda got where he was going with it now. But it didn't explain why Elfo had such a problem with doing it. She'd seen him cook before. In fact, they'd cooked together, with Elfo instructing her on what was probably one of the most basic life skills. He was a good cook! She couldn't see any reason why he'd have an issue with making these things, unless he was just worried about making a big batch of them to give to just one person. 

"I mean... you can make some still, right? You said it was the day after tomorrow." 

Elfo's eyes got big at that suggestion and Bean wondered briefly what she'd said wrong to make him so alarmed. He shook his head in response, though she could read his expression well enough to know what was coming. "I can't do that."

"Sure you can." She tried to be encouraging, like a good girlfriend. And this time she wasn't even threatening or twisting his arm or threatening to throw him into the deep end of the tide pool. "We can just go to Elf Alley and get the ingredients if we don't have any of them here in the castle." Simple.

From Elfo's long silence and the way he turned his head away just enough that he didn't have to directly meet her eyes, it apparently wasn't that simple. She could see the way his shoulders were hunching a little and the way he tucked his head down into the collar of his shirt. Something else was wrong. Something she wasn't getting yet. "Elfo...?" She started again, paused and then let out a soft sigh. "Look, I know something's bothering you. Let's just talk about it and I'm sure we'll figure something out together. We always do. That's how we roll."

He turned his head, looked at her from the corner of his eye. She could spot the slight swipe of his tongue across his lips and then he let out a soft little whine. "It's just... I can't do it because no one will want kisses from me-" Patently not true, when speaking of actual kisses. The two of them kissed fairly often. But she knew it wasn't what he meant. "I stopped making cocoa kisses because no one liked the taste anyway. My spit just doesn't taste good." His voice rose a little with each word, ending on a high cracking note of despair.

It made more sense than the other excuses, but it seemed so arbitrary. She'd never considered judging someone on the taste of their spit, even if she had judged on things like whether parts of someone's body were to come off in her mouth during kissing. That was a turn-off no matter how otherwise-comely the dude in question was. None of that was going to be reassuring to Elfo though. He'd probably been told that he had terrible spit most of his life. And maybe to an elf it would taste a bit weird since he wasn't actually a full elf, but still... for this magical race with a massive sweet tooth, she'd quickly discovered they were just as big of jerks as any humans in Dreamland. 

She wasn't really thinking when she reached out and caught hold of Elfo's arm, dragging him toward her and into a firm hug. His arms came up to return it in a gesture so ingrained it was automatic by now. Her hand settled at the back of his neck, rubbing at his velvety skin and feeling him finally start to relax against her. She held him a few seconds longer without saying anything, until his hands patted gently at her and he drew back enough to meet her gaze, a bit sheepishly. 

"Sorry." He managed a smile, though it was a bit wry. "It's one of those things that made more sense when I found out my mom wasn't really an elf. I guess I never thought about why my spit would taste bad... it was just always that way."

"Elfo..." Bean started, not sure what she was going to say. The words that came out were unexpected but informative. "I don't know why you think your spit tastes bad. We kiss all the time and I've never had any trouble with it. You're not weird or gross or anything." While it was true that Bean had never been paying a particular amount of attention to the taste of Elfo's saliva when they kissed, she still figured she would have noticed if anything was really strange or off-putting about it.

To be fair, they didn't usually kiss with tongue or anything.

As their eyes met, she could tell Elfo was thinking the exact same thing. It was a little infuriating sometimes how he could get into her head, and in a completely different way from Luci who could literally get into her head through the bond they still shared. This thing with Elfo was different, born of their familiarity and all they'd been through together. He wasn't doubting her sincerity, she knew that, but he still didn't think she was impartial or informed enough to make such a call. Well, she wasn't going to deal with that kind of nonsense. She'd learned first hand what hesitation and self-doubt could do, it was something she'd suffered with for most of her life. 

She wasn't even thinking as she reached out with both hands, tangling fingers in the fluff along his cheeks and reeling his smaller form in close, mashing their lips together in what was definitely one of the least graceful kisses they'd ever shared. Elfo let out a muffled sound of surprise as their lips came in close and she could feel him tense for a few seconds before he started to relax against her. 

There. That was better. She probably should have warned him about it, but it wasn't entirely unwarranted. Besides, she had other things to focus on at the moment. They'd never shared a deep kiss. To be fair, Bean wasn't often in the habit of doing so because of the possibility of winding up with pieces of someone's tongue falling off in her mouth, which was an experience she never wanted to have repeated. It had made her a bit skittish of the possibility in the future though.

She pressed her tongue carefully against his lips as they kissed and felt the hitch of his breath. Then his eyes closed for a second, his hands resting against her upper arms as he parted his lips for her. She could tell he was still a little concerned, probably because of what he'd been talking about, that fear that his spit didn't taste good. She might have gone for the argument that spit didn't generally taste good, except that elves were apparently different - like bees - and it didn't actually apply. Also she'd never exactly gone around tasting spit even when she'd been willing to tongue-kiss dudes. 

While Bean couldn't relate to the idea that someone would be mean to Elfo over such a ridiculous thing, she could relate to the idea of being treated like she was inferior. It was something she'd already endured for most of her life solely for being a woman. While she'd learned a lot over the years and she was finally able to deal with her little brother without the sheer volume of resentment she'd harbored for him for ages, it didn't mean that she hadn't been hurt by it happening. She could imagine it must have been the same for Elfo. He'd been as isolated as she had, in his own way. It was one of the reasons they'd bonded so quickly, and so closely. They could relate to each other on some level that a lot of the people they'd encountered hadn't been able to. It had sucked for him, yeah, but she was also pretty sure that it wasn't because there was something actually wrong with Elfo.

_Unless one counted the fact that he was a half-breed, which was wrong for different reasons._

He tasted... she wasn't sure she could put her finger on an exact flavour. It wasn't like she ate that much candy herself. It was definitely not what she expected though. She associated spit with gross things, not with the slightly sweet taste on her tongue. She could feel him shift, letting his mouth relax a little as he melted into their kiss and it occurred to her that she'd been missing out a little by not doing this with him before. But maybe he'd worried about it himself and that was why he'd never been keen on initiating anything more in-depth.

Elfo was probably going to want to know a little bit more about her thoughts on his taste, rather than the enjoyment of kissing in general, so Bean considered. That sweetness was there - so much for her initial statement about spit! - but there was something else, almost a smoky kind of flavour. She wondered if it was the result of his secondary heritage. It reminded her a bit of his scent, honestly. The way he was a little sweet and a little not. Bean gave a thoughtful hum that made Elfo's eyes snap open and he looked at her for a moment, gazes locking before Bean finally pulled back, breaking their kiss.

The elf had an endearingly dumbfounded expression on his face. "Bean? What...?" He fell silent as she reached up a finger to wipe a couple of drops of saliva away from his chin, his cheeks colouring slightly at the gesture. He let out a soft cough, clearing his throat. "What was that for?"

"Can't I kiss my boyfriend?" Bean said, lightly, before stroking fingers against his cheek. "Seriously, though. You don't taste weird at all, Elfo. Well... I guess maybe a bit.... because human spit isn't all that great and you've got the sweet thing going on. But I don't see how anyone could say your spit tastes bad." She paused a moment, fingers still ruffling against him thoughtfully. When it looked like he was going to say something that wasn't agreement - Bean could tell from the slight furrow of his brows, that look he always got when he was feeling a bit argumentative over something, - she interrupted whatever it was by swooping in for a second kiss. This one wasn't as long as the first, but it was still just as effective. Elfo's protest came out as just a slight sputter before he leaned in again, meeting her kiss with a sigh of resignation.

This time when Bean pulled away, Elfo had a wry smile on his face. "You really don't think I taste strange?" He asked, quietly. Bean brushed her fingers against his cheek. 

"Of course not." She said and Elfo nodded.

"But even if my spit doesn't taste bad... it's never been considered good for candies. I was never put on spitting duty and it wasn't just because I wasn't happy all the time." He rubbed at the side of his neck. "And what if I make some cocoa kisses and nobody likes them?"

Bean chuckled softly at that and when Elfo looked to her in surprise, her shoulders rose in a shrug. "If for some reason they don't like them, then that's their loss. And it's more candy for me." She took his hand and felt his fingers twine with hers automatically. "And I promise, I'll eat them." It was still a little weird to think about elf candies being full of spit, but considering she'd just been lip-locked with Elfo, it wasn't like this was going to be any weirder than it was to just kiss him.

Her reassurance, though it wasn't very detailed or eloquent, got through to Elfo. She could tell from the way the set of his shoulders shifted, his body relaxing a bit. "Okay." He said. He gave her hand a slight squeeze. "Okay, let's do it then."

-

The cocoa kisses really were easy to make. Even Bean, who'd had trouble with baking a cookie recipe, was able to figure out the basics of the kiss recipe without much difficulty. Elfo set her to work breaking up the chocolate - there were dark chocolate bars that tasted bitter when she snuck one experimentally into her mouth, and what smelled like chocolate but was white. It melted a little in her fingers and Elfo came over to take it from her, heating both kinds of the bars together until they began to melt and adding some milk. In no time, it was a rich chocolate-smelling goo that had Bean's mouth watering.

She hoped Elfo's was too, because otherwise she wasn't sure he was going to be able to make enough spit for the batch.

He hesitated while stirring it and she knew the mix must have been almost done, that it was just the one last thing that was making him balk. She settled her hand against his shoulder, gave him a look of reassurance as he darted his eyes to meet hers. This wasn't the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen her boyfriend doing - drinking milk out of his shoe topped it easily and was still the one thing she tended to think about when it came to any hesitation at kissing him - but unlike the other gross things, this one had him visibly nervous.

He closed his eyes finally, pursing his lips and spitting in the general direction of the pot. Given his complete lack of looking, it was extraordinary that his spit even made it into the melting pot, but somehow he managed. He peeked for a second immediately after, verifying that he hadn't messed it up, and then - seemingly a bit bolstered - he did it again. And again.

Bean wasn't sure how much spit these candies needed, but Elfo spat a couple more times before finally sitting back, swiping the back of his hand across his lips, a bit wryly. 

"Is that enough?" Bean asked, and Elfo bobbed his head.

"I think so... I've never really done an actual Kiss Day version of this recipe though," He peered into the melting pot as though it had some answers. There was nothing revealing or magical going on, no words of wisdom from the ether and Elfo turned his task to the next part. For this, Bean had actually gotten to help out, preparing the moulding tray for the candy in question. It was a pleasing configuration of heart shapes, little pairs of lips and what seemed to be semi-elf-shaped figures with wings. Elfo surveyed the tray for a moment, perhaps sensing his last opportunity to back out of this before he finally tipped the pot, pouring the liquid chocolate into the tray. Even shaky and uncertain, he held it with a steadiness Bean knew she could never have managed, filling each of the little alcoves. There was just enough chocolate to fill them all.

There was a little bit of waiting after all that, the candies hardening in the tray. When Elfo popped them out of the tray, they looked perfect.

It occurred to Bean, as she helped scoop the little candies into fancy red and pink wrappers, that she was essentially helping another woman get a kiss from her boyfriend and there was a certain delicious irony in that. She held up one of the candies, gripping it carefully by the wrapper, "So, now you just hand them out?"

"The day after tomorrow," Elfo said. "It's bad luck to give kisses before kiss day.

Bean gave a mock pout at that. "What, you mean we're not going to get any kisses for the next day and a half?" She wasn't worried, but she could tell that Elfo was taking her seriously for the few seconds it took for her to walk back the words. This time though, it turned out that she didn't have to. 

"Not the candy kind," Elfo agreed, a flush spreading across his cheeks before he leaned in with that hopeful look, an expression that Bean quickly countered by giving Elfo a kiss from her. One with marginally less elf spit involved.

-

It was the first time Bean had been a witness to a Kiss Day exchange and she watched as Elfo approached Kissy with a certain fascination on her face. There was a part of her that was still expecting actual kissing to happen, despite everything the two of them had been through to make these candies in the first place. Instead Kissy just held up a tiny wrapped item, dangling easily from the ribbon she had tied around it. "I brought you a kiss, Elfo," she said, hand rocking so the ribbon-wrapped candy swung back and forth like a small pendulum. Elfo held out his own hand, palm up, and Kissy deposited it in his grip with a wide smile. For just a moment, looking at her, Bean could tell what Elfo had seen in her that had interested him in the first place.

"T-thank you, Kissy." 

The elf woman beamed, then began to turn away and Bean felt herself tense, even though it wasn't her culture or her candy to give. She was more worried on Elfo's behalf, that he'd get too nervous to give a gift to his ex-girlfriend and that he'd feel bad about it later. Instead of Elfo turning away when he wasn't sure what to say, he called out a soft, strangled, "Wait!" making Kissy turn back around to look at him, her eyes wide. Elfo faltered, just for a second, but then he held up his own, obviously hand-wrapped gift. It didn't have the fancy little ribbon that Kissy'd had on hers, but it looked presentable enough. 

Elfo had a look on his face like he was surprised by his own gift, and he wasn't the only one. Kissy stared for a few seconds, focused on the offered wrapped candy as though she was expecting it to bite her. Then, ever the gracious receiver, she took the candy from his hand. Bean wasn't sure what to make of the tone of Kissy's voice, but the elf woman thanked him and it didn't sound fake.

While the two of them were holding their candies, Bean watched the interaction with fascination. Elfo hadn't explained this part of the whole Kiss Day ritual to her, but she could guess what they were doing. Each of them unwrapped their ''kiss' and then smiled at each other. Kissy's was as easygoing and confident as the woman herself, Elfo's was twitching at the edges in that slightly uncertain way he had when he was nervous. Despite her earlier assurances to Elfo, Bean couldn't help but be a little nervous on his behalf. After all, she'd encouraged him to do this in the first place. After unwrapping, each of the elves took a bite of the candy. Elfo swallowed his quickly, but both he - and Bean - were more focused on Kissy.

Unlike Elfo's hasty consumption of the gift, Kissy was taking her time, chewing slowly. She didn't seem to be having much reaction either way, at least until she swallowed her mouthful. "That was delicious, thank you, Elfo." She said, with a decidedly non-disgusted look. It occurred to Bean that Kissy and Elfo had kissed before too, that maybe she should have brought that up when she was trying to allay Elfo's nervousness over the quality of his spit. If Kissy had kissed him before, she must have thought he tasted fine.

Either way, she relaxed a little herself as she saw Elfo slump with relief. It wasn't every day that one got to be a good partner by helping their boyfriend give a kiss to his ex. While Elfo was taking a much needed breath, trying to calm himself, Kissy stepped away. Bean expected her to just walk off. She probably had a lot of kisses to be handing out. Instead, though, she came over to stand in front of Bean. The two women locked eyes for a moment, Bean's confusion showing clearly on her face, from the way Kissy took a soft, reassuring tone.

"Thank you too." Kissy said, reaching out her hand. Bean was going to ask why she was being thanked, it wasn't like she'd done something she needed to be thanked for.

"Thank...me?" Bean stumbled a little over the words, trying to piece things together. "What for? I didn't do anything..." Then she spotted the little wrapped candy sitting neatly on Kissy's palm, offering.

The elf woman's voice was soft as she offered the gift, "You two are good together. You make Elfo happy. And besides-" She beamed and Bean felt a bit of a flush creeping onto her own cheeks. Yeah. She could definitely see why Elfo had fallen for this woman. She definitely had an intriguing air around her. "-Elfo's grown so much since the two of you met. It's a good thing." She leaned in and Bean ducked her head down to meet her even though she had no idea why Kissy wanted to whisper anyway, " _He was really very sad and kind of depressing when we dated._ " She gave the wrapped gift a little shake, still smiling, and Bean took it.

It was mostly because she didn't want to be rude, though.

The wrapped candy sat warmly on Bean's palm as Kissy pulled away, waving to the both of them cheerfully, "I've got a few more of these to give away!" She had a flounce to her step that Bean wasn't sure was unintentional, making her way back toward Elf Alley before calling back over her shoulder, "You know, we can all still hang out sometime. Don't be a stranger!" Bean wasn't sure if Kissy was talking to her, to Elfo or to both of them.

"Y-yeah." Elfo agreed, awkwardly and too softly for Kissy to hear from this distance. As he came back over to Bean, he spotted the wrapped candy she was still holding. "Oh! You got a kiss too!" 

Bean wasn't sure what she was supposed to do with it, but Elfo's tone was more excited than anything. "Yeah. Kissy gave it to me." 

"That's great! You're really getting into the tradition, now!" With one successful gifting of a Kiss Day kiss, Elfo was being a lot more upbeat about the whole thing. It was almost like he hadn't been worried at all, and Bean couldn't help but get in a little tease of her own, though it was meant good-naturedly.

"Yeah, you're right. I am." She tapped her fingers thoughtfully against her leg, looking at the candy she was still holding in her other hand. "I guess this means that next year, maybe I should start handing out some kisses too." She watched Elfo's eyes get wide at that, his head tilting a little and slight wrinkles at the corners of his mouth as he struggled to tell whether she was serious. "I mean I watched you make them. I think I could manage it. Besides, I make way more spit than you do."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea..." Elfo started, then fell silent again as Bean gave him a look of mock outrage.

"What? You don't think people will like my kisses? Is it because of the human spit thing?" She definitely wasn't planning to spit in any candies, much less hand them out. Elves were pretty judgmental on the whole and she had no intention of trying to give candies to folks like Watcho. Maybe she would have given one to Kissy, but that was just because she wasn't a jerk like most of the elves Bean had encountered. Elfo was fumbling, probably trying to come up with some nice way to tell her that human spit wasn't as appealing as elf spit, and she finally took pity on him. "It's a joke, Elfo. I'm not really up for spitting in food unless it's to show someone how pissed off I am." There was a little wryness to that, because she had definitely spit in food before, but no one would ever have considered it a good thing.

"I knew that..." Elfo said, though they both knew that was a little bit of an acceptable white lie. He cleared his throat, then was a savvy enough boyfriend that he went for the compliment. "And besides, I like the way your spit tastes too Bean." He probably meant it too, which was the best part... even if it wasn't entirely reassuring coming from a man who was also fine licking floor lint and drinking shoe milk. 

Bean's eyes went back to the carefully wrapped candy in her hand. It was a little flattering that Kissy had been thoughtful enough to give her a kiss too. "I feel like I should be more weirded out by the fact that your ex has given both of us a kiss." She unwrapped it, more than a little curious. Any of her squeamishness at the idea of eating candies with spit in them had already passed after helping Elfo with the entire process, including watching him spit into the melting pot with more enthusiasm than she'd expected. She was only a little bit ginger as she took a bite from the small chocolate, which was shaped - fittingly - like a pair of lips.

She'd had normal chocolate before, of course. At first it seemed just as expected, like Dreamland chocolate but better quality. Silkier. A bit sweeter. After a few seconds, there was another taste, equal parts sweet and tart. Maybe a little like strawberry. Not exactly that, but close enough. She closed her eyes for a second as she finished the rest of the chocolate.

No wonder Elfo had enjoyed making out with Kissy. She could appreciate it a lot more now.

The chocolate was tiny though and gone in only a couple of bites. As she finished it, she met Elfo's anxious gaze. She wasn't really sure why he seemed worried. It wasn't like the chocolate presented any danger to their relationship or anything, any more than the one Elfo had gotten did. "What did you think?" he asked, and she replied truthfully because after everything they'd been through, it was the only option that didn't usually end in disaster.

"It's really good." She began, noticing his shoulders slump a little. Not jealousy, just a bit of crestfallenness. It was more to do with the candy than their relationship. That was something a bit more honesty could fix. "I like your kisses more, though."

"Really?" Elfo squinted at her a bit, his skeptical expression, and Bean smiled, easing to one knee so they were at eye level. Even now, he still had his moments of self-conscious uncertainty and she reached out to brush her fingers fondly through his hair while his brows furrowed in a slight scowl. "But you didn't try any of them ye-"

It was the logical assumption, given that they'd just exchanged cocoa kisses with Kissy, but Bean was quick to dispel Elfo's notions that she was talking about candy. She shut him up by sliding an arm around him, tugging him close and capturing his lips in a kiss that was more sweet and satisfying than a mere chocolate gift - even a handmade, gourmet one - could be.

When she finally pulled back, Elfo had that hazy fond expression on his face, that adoring look that was only ever for Bean. She smiled in response, fingers brushing tenderly against his cheek as she broke him out of his reverie. "Come on. Let's get back to the castle. We've got a lot more kisses to enjoy before Kiss Day is over."

"I hope you don't mean the chocolate." Elfo had a bit of a dreamy tone to his voice and a giddy smile quirking at his lips.

"I do mean the chocolate," Bean said, barely managing to keep a serious tone. "I mean. You made a whole batch. That's like... a hundred candies." It _had_ occurred to her at the time that he didn't need to make a full batch to give just _one_ candy to Kissy, but she hadn't wanted to interrupt him and make him feel self-conscious about not being able to give away the other ninety-nine candies. "We're going to have to eat them for the next week or so to get through them all."

_Or she could give them to her dad. Then they'd be gone in one or two sittings, three max._

Elfo had that adorable pout on his lips that she'd been hoping to see with her small tease, and Bean chased it away with another kiss of the non-chocolate variety. "I'm joking, Elfo. We're going to have a lot of the normal kind of kisses. And probably some chocolate ones too, in-between." As she stood, she held out her hand to Elfo and he slipped his own into it with a little grin.

"It sounds like you've really gotten into the spirit of the holiday, Bean." He tangled his fingers with hers as they headed back toward the palace together.

"It's all about learning about different cultures, Elfo. And about eating candy. And about snogging with my boyfriend. Okay. It's about a lot of things." She paused. "But mostly about the culture thing. Open mind. All that."

"Whatever you say, Bean." Elfo said and she could hear the smile in his voice without even having to look at him. She sped up her steps a little and he matched her pace until they were running back to the castle.

-

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
